Guy and the Body Bag

In which Guy relates his troubles to Co-worker

"Well, this crisis came sooner than anticipated." Guy scratched his neck uncomfortably. "Crisis?" Co-worker asked. "My wife found the body bag under our bed." Co-worker gaped at Guy. "Can you...say that again?" "I have a body bag under my bed." Guy reiterated. "Why do you have a body bag?" Co-worker asked too loudly. "Keep it down, would you?" Guy clapped a hand over Co-worker's mouth. The hand was pushed away. "I don't need the whole office to assume the same thing as my wife." Co-worker tapped his fingers on the desk impatiently. "I'm waiting." "I've missed our anniversary the last couple years, so this year I wanted to make it up to her." "With a body bag?" Co-worker asked dryly. Guy ignored the remark and continued. "She was supposed to discover the bag with a body in it." "That's terrifying." "Knowing my wife she'd want to know who I supposedly 'murdered' and unzip the bag." "Okay, the fact that you have a body bag is disturbing. But the fact that your wife would want to see that is even more so. Why did you marry her?" "Inside the bag, she was supposed to find her sister, who's arriving today. I was gonna pick her up on my way home." "Dead, or alive?" "My wife hasn't seen her in years and misses her like crazy. Her sister also has a condo in Florida, and she's letting us use it for our anniversary. So her sister would pop out of the bag-" "You're a sick human being." "-surprise my wife and tell her about the vacation I've got planned for the two of us." "So what now?" Guy shrugged. "Not too sure yet. But things are gonna escalate pretty quickly around here. The wife's headed over here right now. You wanna help? You could be my new 'victim.'" Co-worker thought for a moment, grinned wickedly and said, "I know just what to do."

Stay tuned to read the end of Guy's tale in the next installment.